Purpose Driven Dinner Cruise

Last October, my congregation expressed their appreciation of me (and my family) in a multitude of ways. One of those was a river boat cruise in La Crosse, WI. It was a bit late in the fall to go and see any spectacular colors, so we waited ’til spring. This past Saturday evening, I took my loving (and lovely) bride of 25+ years for our dinner cruise on the La Crosse Queen. It was a delightful evening. After 2 1/2 hours of enjoyment, conversation with people we’d never met and most likely will never meet again, a satisfying dinner and a cruise up and down the Mississippi River, we disembarked to find this evening’s cruise had come with a high price tag.

You see, they take your picture as your boarding the La Crosse Queen – that’s not the problem. Ann & I dressed casual – that’s not the problem. The problem was when we began showing the picture at church yesterday, during our Fellowship Meal for Fathers. We wanted them to see how much we enjoyed their gift to us last fall, but many began to get quite upset. Some were down right angry; so much so, that we’re fearful they may soon have a "secret" congregational meeting to determine my worthiness to stay on as their pastor. Oh the shame of it all. I was so embarrassed; if only I’d known what my choice of clothing would do to me. Here’s the picture the kind folks and unwitting accomplices of my downfall took last Saturday:

I guess my congregation determined that I looked so much like Rick Warren that I would soon begin preaching like Rick Warren, sounding like Rick Warren, leading our church like Rick Warren, that they would have to "cut off the infected limb to save the body." I plan on massive amounts of contrition, open confession of sin and a total repentance, even to the point of having a clothes burning next Sunday morning.

My only alternative, if I don’t mind getting kicked out of my church, would be to begin an evangelical version of "The Next Best Thing" where preachers/pastors appear on TBN TV and see how close they can appear like all of our greatest, contemporary Christian heroes: Rick Warren (I personally think I’d be the shoe-in right now), Joel Osteen, Rick Bell, and a host from TBN itself. Imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery and flattery will get you everywhere (even kicked out of your own church).

(By the way, I hope anyone from Cornerstone EFC who reads this realize that I’m speaking strictly tongue-in-cheek!)

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2 Responses

  1. ROFL!!!!!

    Glad you enjoyed the cruise, Rick…I mean Kevin.

  2. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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